"Brighella Gets Lunch"
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Scenario.
   Brighella and Franceschina.  Brighella tricks Franceschina into feeding him
the lunch she is preparing for Burattino, who she is told has died.


********************

Brighella, playing guitar, strolls to center stage.

   Lords and Ladies, I am Brighella, the greatest singer in all of the Known
Worlde.  
   I would love to perform for you, to amaze you, to inspire you, but…

   I am so hungry!  I fear I may die, instead. I must remedy this, immediately!  
[exits.]

Franceschina, stage left.  She places her basket of loaves on the table, pulls out
a bowl and spoon and begins to prepare a meal for Burattino, her husband.

   Men!  They are all cruel to us, some more, some less.  They demand the most
fidelity, and on the least shadow of suspicion they bully us, and are likely to
murder us!  And what about their fidelity?  They say they don’t like to eat one
kind of cheese all their lives!  And why should men have more privileges than
women do?  Because it’s the law!  Pooh!  Who made the law?  If I were a
queen, I’d make every man who was unfaithful carry a branch of a tree in his
hand, and I know all the towns would look like forests.

   Well, if you have got to marry one or another of them some day, you must
take marriage like you take medicine when you’re ill.  And like medicine, it
sometimes makes you feel better!  For myself, if my husband samples another
kind of cheese, I’ll lose no time in showing him what’s sauce for the goose is
sauce for the gander!

Brighella approaches, sees Franceschina preparing lunch.  Yum!  But, before he
can enter, along comes her husband, Burattino, to claim his lunch!

   Where are you off to in such a hurry?

   Going home, for a bit of mid-day meal of cheese and wine?  Why go all the
way home?  See that young lady over there?  She was just saying she has
some fresh cheese, and no one to feed it to!  [Burattino exits.]

Brighella approaches Franceschina’s kitchen.  

   
   Ah, the best provisions are yesterday’s bread, today’s eggs, one-year-old
meat, two-year-old wine, three-year-old fish and women less than twenty.  But,
no matter!  


[sings] For this woman has food to keep my hunger away
   And even when you’re old and lost your teeth
   You still need it every day.        

Franceschina!

Franceschina:  Don’t call me that!

Brighella:  What shall I call you then?

Franceschina:  You needn’t call me anything – for I have no intention of having
further
concourse with you.

Brighella:  Concourse?

Franceschina:  Of course, concourse.

Brighella:   What does that mean?

Franceschina:  I don’t know.  But my Mistress is always refusing to have it with
people,
so I am refusing it with you!

Run along, my husband, Burattino, will be here any minute, expecting his
midday meal of cheese and wine.

Brighella:  Oh, but that is what I am here to tell you!  Your husband is not
coming!  
He has gone… dead!!

Franceschina:  Are you telling me that Burattino has gone, that he has died?

Brighella:  Ahh, yes-ss, that IS what I am telling you!  So, what you were
preparing to
give to him, you may now give to me!

Franceschina:  Are you mad?!  What rogue are you?!

Brighella:  One with a voracious hunger that you, beautiful lady, can satisfy.

Franceschina:  I have nothing for you here.

Brighella:  But a morsel for my lips.  A taste on my tongue.  

You have ample, it appears.  I have not seen two more ample loaves than those
that you have.



Franceschina:  Scoundral!  [attempts to cover herself in modesty]  

You speak so coarse, to me, a poor widow? [wails]

Brighella:  Oh!  Is it money you need?  Name your price, m’lady.  I have a coin
for your
service.  After all, your reputation is known throughout the village!

Franceschina:  [she picks up a loaf from her basket and hits him with it,
repeatedly.]

Fiend!  Vagrant!  If it could not be you who has died, and taken the place of my
husband!

(Now this sounds good to him as he is being beaten.  
He could have been in Burattino’s shoes at this very moment.)


Brighella:  (Shrinking, he agrees.)  Yes, you are correct.

I am the lowest.  I should not exist.  I should die.

(He pulls his dagger and prepares to end his life.)

Franceschina:  Wait!  No, don’t do that!  Two men should not die.  
Who will be left to enjoy this meal?  Sit down, let me serve you.
     
You must be quite exhausted from having to bear the burden of the news of my
poor, departed husband.  Did you see the death?  Was it difficult to watch?  
Here, let me fill your glass with some of this good wine…  blah, blah.  

(She continues to fuss over him, he grabs a bite and makes his escape.)

Franceschina:   (She calls after him… )  Sweet man!!  
When will you be back?!

Silly goose… yes!!… Ah, ‘sauce for the goose’!  

(Calls after him again… )  I’ll light my window tonight!  
Call softly, so as not to wake my mistress.

Oh!  I better go to the market and see if I can find some fresh cheese for
Brighella… Yes, I heard of a young lady there in the market with plenty of fresh
cheese… [she exits]
I Sciocci!
Cha toir a’bhòidhchead goil air a’ phoit.
Beauty won’t boil the pot.