"The Music Lesson”
Scenario.
   Brighella, Ballerina  and Franceschina.  Brighella, “The Greatest Music
Teacher in All of the World”, gives Franceschina a music lesson.   

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Brighella, enters, pacing; Ballerina follows him back and forth.  She collides with
him when he stops abruptly.  He puts her in place before beginning the pace
once again.  She follows him, etc.  He checks the time, paces.  Stops.  Taps left
foot, then right.  
(Addresses front… shrugs shoulders, hands in air… Where is my pupil?)
He fashions a sundial out of his hands to check the time.  He hits it and
“listens” to see if it is running.  He crosses arms and begins tapping once
again.  Once more…
(Addresses front… shrugs shoulders, hands in air… Where is my pupil?)
                           
   Unacceptable!!  Here I wait, Brighella, “The Greatest Music Teacher in All of
the World”.  But, where is my pupil?!  Ruffiana has asked me to take on a new
pupil, as a personal favor to her.  But where is this new pupil? They insult me!  
They spit on me…
(insert ridiculous insults here)…

   They should pay for these insults, be jailed, be hung from the gallows until
they are dead…Ah, yes, perhaps they ARE dead.  Yes, that is better!

Enter Franceschina, calling, Yoo-hoo, Master Brighella, I am here for my music
lesson…

Brighella: (Alarmed) Oh, No!!  FRANCESCHINA!!  Quick, Ballerina! I must Hide!  
Ballerina goes in circles, ending up position head down.  Brighella pulls a beard
disguise from his pouch and applies it.  

Franceschina: Oh, I beg forgiveness!  I thought you were Master Brighella, my
music teacher.  

Brighella: It is Brighella you are looking for?  “The Greatest Music Teacher in
All of the World”?  I regret, he is not here.  There is no one here but I (looks to
Ballerina to assure that she is “hidden”), his cousin, yes, his cousin, Scapino!  

Franceschina:         His cousin!, Scapino!, is it?!  Well met, gentle cousin of
Brighella!  (puts her basket on the ground and offers him her hand.)  Are you,
likewise, a music teacher?

Brighella: A music teacher?  No, regretfully… I am quite deaf!  Yes, that is it, I
am stone deaf, a terrible accident (insert ridiculous accident here)…

Franceschina turns and begins to depart; Brighella removes his beard and, as
he is putting it back into his pouch, she turns back to him…

Franceschina:         Oh, in all of the excitement, I left my basket behind!  

As she approaches, Brighella drops his beard.  Unable to retrieve it, he attempts
to cover his face, but too late, with a handkerchief he removes from his pouch.  
Ballerina, likewise, is “seen”, so she assumes a new position.

Franceschina:         Master Brighella!  What a coincidence!  I was just speaking
of you, with your cousin, Scapino!  He has not seen you, he says.

Brighella:  Ah, yes, poor chap.  Blind, I believe.  Yes, blinded in a terrible
accident, it was (insert ridiculous accident here)…

Franceschina:         Mores the pity… But, on to cheerful things, shall we?  I
brought a song for my recital, taught to me by Ruffiana, who assures me of its
popularity.  It’ll bring the health’s round, she says!

Brighella:  I’m afraid it will bring more than the health’s round, coming from
Ruffiana and all.. I do have Ballerina, my accompanist, here at the ready…

Franceschina:         Good!  Perhaps she knows the tune… (singing)
   See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built!
   I wonder what is true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt!
   Ring ding diddle diddle ay dee oh, Ring ding diddley ay oh.
   I wonder what is true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt!

Brighella: AHH!  No, no!  That will never do! Etc…No, like this… (singing)
   Now is the month of maying, when merry lads are playing!
   Fa la la la la la la la la, fa la la la la la la.

Now, here we go, together! (each time:
1.        hand Franceschina the hankerchief,
2.        Ready, Ballerina? – clap x clap x,
3.        pitchpipe)

Franceschina:        
   Now is the month of maying, when merry lads are playing!  Fa la
   Ring ding diddle diddle ay dee oh, Ring ding diddley ay oh.
   I wonder what is true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt!

Brighella:  AHH!  No, no!  What are you doing?  You must listen and do what I
tell you!  I am the Master, “The Greatest Music Teacher in All of the World”! You
are my pupil, and here to learn from Brighella, are you not?!  Now, again!
1.        hand Franceschina the hankerchief,
2.        Ready, Ballerina? – clap x clap x,
3.        pitchpipe


Franceschina:        
   Now is the month of maying, when merry lads are playing!  
   Fa la la la la la la la la, fa la Ring ding diddley ay oh.
   I wonder what is true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt!

Brighella: AHH!  No, no!  Not at all!  What is this diddley?  No fiddley, diddley!  
Do you not hear me?  No! No more diddley!  

Franceschina:         Oh, dear!  Perhaps Ballerina is too loud with her
accompaniment.  Please dance quiety, dear!

Brighella: Yes, perhaps that IS the problem.  (to audience, aside) Or, perhaps the
basket you carry is EMPTY!…) Now, one last time!  This time, no diddley!!
1.        hand  Franceschina the handkerchief,
2.        Ready, Ballerina?- clap x clap x,
3.        pitchpipe – 3 times now, the changes pitch to meet her note

Franceschina &Brighella: (together, this time)
   Now is the month of maying, when merry lads are playing!
   Fa la la la la la la la la, fa la la la la la la.
   I wonder what is true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt!

Franceschina:        (claps hands!)  Oh, how was that?!

Brighella:  Yes, brilliant!  It is true, now you see!  I am Brighella, “The Greatest
Music Teacher in All of the World!”
I Sciocci!
Cha toir a’bhòidhchead goil air a’ phoit.
Beauty won’t boil the pot.